


Red string of fate

by NessieKoizumi



Category: Given (Manga)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst and Tragedy, Goodbyes, Light Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-04
Updated: 2020-08-04
Packaged: 2021-03-05 19:01:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,729
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25710265
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NessieKoizumi/pseuds/NessieKoizumi
Summary: In a world where the longer you spend with the wrong person, you’ll eventually see the red string of fate on their pinky finger , tied down to somebody else.
Relationships: Kaji Akihiko & Murata Ugetsu, Kaji Akihiko/Murata Ugetsu, Kaji Akihiko/Murata Ugetsu/Nakayama Haruki
Kudos: 24





	Red string of fate

**Author's Note:**

> It was from two separate abandoned work I’ve done and if the timeline seem blurry, well I’m no longer strong enough to relive Akigetsu’s breakup so 😭😭😭 Thank you for reading and sorry in advance for any grammatical errors. 🥺💖

The room is in a mess, clothes scattered everywhere, torn apart magazines, kettles and pot being smashed into the wall, endless buds of cigarettes that the once stagnant room is devoid of other smell other than the cancer stick smell, a broken drumsticks being held in his hands. Staring , as if he’s having a staring match with the mug, Ugetsu continues to stare at the mug that he had placed on the coffee table , Akihiko’s mug the other two glasses that had been saved from being a victim of his anger fit just now.

“Even the mug is mocking me.”

-

Maybe just maybe Akihiko thought as he smokes yet another cigar out in the front of the bar he had wandered off after yet another fight with Ugetsu , maybe someday the change that he had wanted to happen between him and Ugetsu never did happen because he was , maybe still is waiting for Ugetsu to come back to him. The change that he wanted to see in them, bless their ignorance, he hasn't actually think it through. On the day when it was especially harder to breath around Ugetsu, Akihiko prays to the god he doesn’t believe in that today will finally be the day he’s breaking through the twisting spider web around them, but the moment it erupts to the point they’re belittling every memory ever made he would always reach to grab Ugetsu’s arm , pushing him nearer towards himself. 

“I love you can’t you see that”

-

Grumpily Ugetsu mumbled and cursed under his breath, a habit he had picked up back when he was rooming with Akihiko. They would always grumble about each other but at the end of the day, after every harsh word, every word they didn’t mean, they’ll always find each other sleeping next to each other, their foreheads pressed together, and without any exchange of conversation, Akihiko would stare at him and kiss his hands , taking a peek , slowly caressing his cheek and everything seemed to be okay once again.

“I’m sorry, I was just scared of losing you.”

-

Things change, but what had actually changed will always remain a mystery for Akihiko. Lately, Ugetsu seem to be on a very determined one track mindset to push Akihiko away when he had realised he couldn’t afford, he’s so afraid the moment he heard his tune has changed, he had pushed Akihiko, pushing him farther and farther away as Ugetsu believes with all the belief he held inside, that his love for Akihiko is rivalling the love he has for music itself, and it is something unthinkable, unfathomable for him. Ugetsu grew up believing that the only thing that held him to the ground, the thing that shaped him as he is now, the very thing that defines Ugetsu Murata himself is that, he’s a violinist prodigy , the very essence of being something apart from that scares him to his core. Who is Ugetsu if not for music, how will he come out to be if not for music, he wouldn’t be acknowledged if it’s not for music, he’s not himself if it’s not for music. 

“You had fallen for me because of music, didn't you ?”

-

But one day, as Ugetsu was looking at their intertwined hands, he saw something he had never seen before. A string, a red string is attached to Akihiko's pinky finger and it was not connected to him, Akihiko , his Akihiko is not his Akihiko, and nothing was the same ever again.

“Aki-”

-

Slowly the time Ugetsu spends with him, spends the time at home is lesser , a pained expression he tried to hide from Akihiko, but Akihiko had seen it once, two times and more and more after, he always has a far away look on his face after they had done it, he spends more time tracing Akihiko’s face as if he’s trying to remember him by heart, as if any moment now Akihiko will walk away and he’s left to only stare at the stagnant colour wall, his hand will lose Akihiko’s hand to hold, he wouldn’t have any more chance to place his nose on Akihiko’s throat, and sometimes when Ugetsu had thought the dream had taken Akihiko away, Akihiko can hear soft sniffing sound, scratchy pain voice wording out ,

“Aki, the strings won’t be tied to mine”

-

Ugetsu took more and more daring approach to push Akihiko away, clumsily showing proof of his infidelity, is it even called infidelity if you weren’t longer in a relationship with someone, but for them, for Ugetsu and Akihiko, the act of loving should always be between them, others are unwelcome, but why oh why, when Ugetsu strike him with a love marks on his body, Akihiko strikes back with long stretch nail marks on his back.

“We’re only prolonging the inevitable , can't you see that?”

-

But getting physical, no, throwing insults back and forth , throwing harsh remarks, spreading the hostility between them wasn’t supposed to be dragging this long Akihiko thought. He just wants Ugetsu to see sense and stop being a prick, he sees it in the way Ugetsu traces the mark on his back, how his eyes grow colder and colder as the mark signal something territorial on him, how Ugetsu will throw clothes at him right away after they’ve done it, words heavy on the silence, keep it out of my sight. 

Ugetsu starts to spend time reading some spiritual bullshit about soulmate and red string of fate, and every few minutes of him reading some line from the book, Akihiko can just feel the air of sorrow leaving his small body, drying off the plates he was washing, Akihiko turns his body and with a small soft smile on his back, slowly opening his arms for Ugetsu to fit his body in a warm embrace, Akihiko voice out one of his many favourite line 

“Come here.”

\- 

Akihiko’s air is lighter now, Ugetsu remarks as he plays with the hem of Akihiko’s shirt. He starts to be more eager, more motivated to play in his merry band of misfits, Akihiko will tell him here and there of the development of the band , I hope we’ll be good enough, I hope I’m good enough , Ugetsu can hear it in the way Akihiko unconsciously tells him how everything finally start to take off, after Mafuyu was it, joins the band. The self doubt of Akihiko’s artistic skill starts to rumble after numerous joint rehearsals, after the few declining competitions Akihiko had joined. But how do you assure someone of something you’ve never doubt yourself with , how should Ugetsu assure Akihiko he’s good, no he’s great in everything he dwells in, the thing about competition is that there’s bound to be someone better than you, but that doesn’t meant his good wasn't good enough. 

“Ugetsu, we’re in tune again”

-

Akihiko always wonder , more so after the ripples between him and Ugetsu starts to widen more , why does he feels so at ease with Haruki, Haruki the awkward sweet guy who innocently thought his feelings wasn’t apparent on his face, wasn’t showing in his action, and two can play a game Akihiko had thought, he’s unsure whether it was merciful of him to put on an act of not acknowledging of Haruki’s feelings or was it cruel of him to be acting like he wasn’t aware of those feelings he bore for him. Haruki, sweet sweet Haruki, Akihiko thinks that’s why he puts on an act, he doesn’t want the image Haruki had painted of him to be tainted by the darkness that looms inside him, doesn’t want Haruki to realise how , to know the true nature of Akihiko Kaji. With his sharp edges , with the ever silent cry of help, with the ever growing self loathing, self doubt, Akihiko was a mess and Haruki is bound to be dragged to the ground if he gets any closer. 

The tempo of destruction was slow at first, almost unrecognisable, you can only hear it if you were truly focusing on hearing the tune of the music in the background, everything come to a stall point , Ugetsu has had enough, it’s time, no matter how hurtful, how much pain it will take for him to do so, how much sorrow he will have to face after everything is left to unravel, it’s now or never Ugetsu had thought to himself. Akihiko’s reaction, Ugetsu can hear everything come to a crash , the sound of everything binding them together came harshly undone, he didn’t mean it, it was in a blur, he didn’t mean it, Akihiko -

“I want to touch you.”

-

Loneliness creeping through, pain lacing through everything he feels, Ugetsu was unsure , he thought maybe he didn’t think it through, maybe just maybe they can work it out, they’ve done it , they’ve dragged it all this while, maybe Akihiko can be his Akihiko just a tad while longer, but it’s selfish of him isn’t it, he shouldn’t have tied Akihiko down if they weren’t meant to be, Akihiko deserves the chance, fuck it, he’s tied to someone else, the string of fate is the proof of the inevitable fate separating them apart. Reaching out the book from the under the bed, like it was a sign, he opens a page , the wording flashes through his eyes, tears dripping down as he read

“Some believe, the string of fate is only a play of the mind, when one held a belief that the other wasn’t to be tied down to them, one can see a string attached, the string of fate attached to the pinky finger of their lover reaching out to the outside, reaching out for the other, one more reason to justify their action to push the other aside. The string of fate can be considered as a twist of reality of those who couldn’t see themselves tied down to anyone.”

-

A memory flashed inside Ugetsu’s mind, an adult body facing upfront, his back facing Ugetsu’s front, the smell of tobacco accompanying his presence ever since Ugetsu can remember 

“You’re born and raised alone , music will accompany you. Keep that in mind. ”

And just like his father, forever accompanied by the cigarette he held close to his side, music accompanied Ugetsu with every step of his way, every rise every fall, every changing season, it’s alright father had said so.


End file.
